Surrender....

​Tears escape, one by one, two or three
Threatening to wipe out my very existence
Existence of resistance that I have kept in touch for so long
Through death, though heart breaks a plenty
Two or three more in their escape
My fortitude buckling underneath
Waves of lava lulling beneath
So grateful of all the lessons learned
And the near-death times two that ensured
My purpose on this God given Earth
Yet chaos abounds this last year as a bigger, fused purpose arises
This trust-so deep, my Faith-so deep
But so damn lost, so damn numb on the surface
My heart aches, aches so deep
I can feel the squeeze from my heart to my toes
Wrapping around my core, up and down, an on repeat
No booze, no pot, nothing to bury it deep
Faith in knowing that I must face this pain
Embrace it, hold it close, so I can let it fly free
To a place that will serve me
Watching, feeling, this slippery slope, my heels dug in strong
Rectifying all past mistakes
Boundaries in place where there was so much wrong
Yes-hello to taking back any power as I am awake
No denial in that which I so willingly gave
Or that so much of me can break
Resolve in building, repairing, regaining strength
That pushes me on, through and through
An endless energy, the infinite Source
As this phoenix rises, hugging my heart,
Hugging my soul
Consoling and soothing in all that I need
I embrace, I surrender